Why do I love him?
by Tsumichi
Summary: When Shizuo starts beating and raping Izaya repeatedly, The informant decides that he'll use his skills in information to find out what happened-or what WILL happen. Shizaya. OOC, AU
1. Chapter 1

Why do I love him?

Summary: After getting beaten and raped by his abusive boyfriend repeatedly, why does he find himself always crawling back? (shizaya) Other pairings in story, read to find out more!

A/N: 안녕! First fic. Yes, this is immensely OOC on Izaya's part, but don't you want to see the vulnerable, clingy side of him? This story may continue depending on the feedback. Reviews, questions, comments and critiques are encouraged! Thank you! ✿(｡◕‿◕｡)

Disclaimer: I don't own Drrr!

_I know that Shizuo cares about me, I just do_, Izaya thought as he was rubbing alcohol on his wounds for the hundredth time since they started "dating". He refused any thought whatsoever that Shizuo didn't love him. Kida, Mikado and even Namie have warned him that Shizuo had a really bad temper, but he decided to pursue him anyways, whether the blond was gay or not. To other people, the brute was scary, mean and extremely strong,. They never made eye contact with him. Being Izaya, he had provoked him a few times, even had 3 or 4 vending machines thrown at him_. Hmmm, not bad at all._

As he finished cleaning up his shoulder wound, Izaya looked in the mirror. He had captivating brown-red eyes and an angular face. Basically, he was very handsome…if you ignored the huge black spot that took up the entire upper left side of his face. He smiled and told himself _'Shizu-chan loves me'_

He sat at his computer and started to work, tap away at his computer with lightning speed moving around the mouse looking for information that he need for his client. _'Oh, this guy is paying a lot for this information, wonder why…'_ He heard a fast rap on the door.

He got out of the swivel chair and opened the door. It was Yagiri Namie holding groceries. Her face was beautiful but very harsh and cold looking. She spoke with an emotionless monotone that made Izaya bored and depressed.

"Izaya help me with these" She ordered. Izaya just smirked and stared at her as she grunted and did it herself. "Useless", she muttered.

She set the groceries and stared at Izaya's face. He looked genuinely happy, just eating the Ootoro she brought for him. _'Pretty happy for a guy that gets the shit beaten out of him twice a day'_.

"Hey" Namie said

"whftt" Izaya's mouth was full of food.

"Izaya, seriously, how much longer are you going to take this from Shizuo? You can't even sit properly because he's always…r-rap.."

" You mean making sweet love to me, then yes. And what do you mean " take it from Shizuo"? He loves me and I love him, so butt out and finish up work. Shizuo is on his way"

Right when Namie was on her way out, Shizuo came to the door. He looked tired, and as always…angry. He brushed past her violently and went straight to the kitchen where Izaya was plating the food that she made for them. Shizuo pulled him in for a rough embrace squeezing his waist. Izaya squirmed in delight and gave the blond some food.

"I missed you Shizu-chan!"

"I told you to stop calling me that" Shizuo's bottom lip twitched. As much as I love Izaya, I hate him so much.

" Don't be like that Shizu-chan! Did you miss me back?" the informant brightly grinned awaiting Shizuo's answer.

"Yeah, I guess so. How's your face?"

"I've gotten worse". Oh man I shouldn't have said that

The blond dropped his chopsticks, and looked at Izaya with a weird expression. It was about 60% guilt and 40% rage.

"well, then I guess…that we shouldn't be together. I`m obviously hurting you_." This is why I can`t have a relationship with anyone. My stupid anger problem. DAMN. Every girlfriend and well…boyfriend I`ve ever had has left the relationship bruised and broken._

"Shizu-chan are you okay?" Izaya asked like nothing happened. _Damn. This is when I get annoyed. He never takes anything seriously._

"why wouldn't I be?"

"You just broke a pair of steel chopsticks and there's a vein popping out of your temple right here…" The informant brought his hand close the blond's head that was slapped away harshly by him.

"Don't touch me. I'm leaving."

"Why? Shizu-chan please staaaaaaaaaay" Izaya pouted and started to whine_. Oh my god this will be a long night._

Izaya pressed his lips to Shizuo's which were chapped. The blond made no effort to kiss him back. His jaw was wired shut, like his eyes, replaying everything that happened the past hour. _Have I really hurt Izaya that much?_

The informant still tried to kiss Shizuo, trying to pry his mouth open which (obviously) angered the blond. He grabbed Izaya by the shirt and threw him the floor. He landed with a thud on his back and groaned. Shizuo rushed out of the apartment furious, surprised with himself that he didn't actually kill him. _Damn flea. Doesn't understand when to give up. _

My back…ugh…so strong Shizu-chan. Izaya had a hard time getting up because of his shoulder from earlier which still ached. Oh and of course don't forget the pain in his ass from last night. It was their 10th time in a week. Shizuo was very impatient, often going in dry if he had to, when they never had…equipment. Obviously, roughness was part of his kink and made Izaya hard, but when Shizuo started going inside, halfway through he'd go soft because he was crying and screaming. The blond thought that Izaya actually liked it, and continued harder and faster which made Izaya in turn cry harder and scream louder. Shizuo would never notice Izaya's soft dick because he was thinking of his own. Izaya even considered the blond "merciful" if he made Izaya give him a blowjob_. BJ means moisture, I need all that I can get._

He crawled into bed, smiling sadly. _Shizu-chan is probably just going through some stuff. I know he loves me. But I need to find out what, before I die this time._

_A/N: Sucky chapter is sucky. _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Voila le chapter 2. It may sound a bit rushed, and I kind of took a small break from the Izaya investigating why Shizuo was like that to add some other characters to the mix (I don't like stories with only 2 characters. I try to incorporate as many characters as I can) Reviews, comments, questions and suggestions are welcomed and encouraged! READ! ^^

Walking around the streets of Shinjuku was relaxing, especially at night. Even though he had just attacked Izaya, he felt overwhelmed with a calm sensation. His eyebrows weren't twitching, he wasn't growling nor sweating. He was calm. _This is disgusting, aren't I supposed to feel bad, guilty? Aren't I supposed to run back to his house and apologize? How much pain have I caused? I probably shouldn't go back, I cause nothing but stress and pain for him. He obviously thinks that I don`t see him wince a little when he sits, or that he bought a new first aid kit… ughhh why am I like this? _

_Everytime I became friends with someone, I hurt them. Tom my best friend; I broke his arm a few years back. Kasuka, my brother; I threw a refrigerator at him. If I'm such a monster, then I should just stop living. Just…go away and never come back. I always hear what people say;_

"that big brute"

"Oh so violent"

"stay away from that man, son"

"why isn't he arrested?"

_And it goes on. On, and on and on. No one besides Celty, Shinra and Tom will talk to me besides Izaya. He was…different. Even though we hated each other, we always came back to each other for some reason. He'd annoy me and I'd beat the crap out of him—then he'd come back—bruised and all-and hug me, kiss me and touch me. Interesting relationship we have, huh? _

_Is it fair? Is it fair that someone would come back after you make them cry, bleed and yell? Is it fair for someone to embrace you after you rape them 2 times in a row? I picked up the stop light and hurled it across the sky—but silently praying it won't hit anyone._

Izaya's POV

Waking up was usually hard and annoying, but Izaya smelled Ootoro and jumped out of bed immediately—bad idea. _Oh, my back..hurts..hurts so much. _He slowly stretched and moaned, his heart beating so hard it panged his chest. He took care of everything in the bathroom, put on his clothes and fixed his hair. He put his hair so that no one will see the blue mark above his eyebrow, but someone will notice. His ass was still sore, but regardless the sex was pretty good. Considering he has…"experience" with other men, but he only had sex with one female before.

That was Namie. Three years ago, he had Namie come over to entertain him, and well…he was really horny so he needed sexual release…right? So he seduced Namie to his bed room and, well, did her. But things got awkward fast when she moaned "Seiji". So he promised not tell anyone as long as they both never spoke of this again.

Namie was in the kitchen preparing the Ootoro, and her face became cold when she saw Izaya's grinning face.

"Good morning Namie! How was your night?~"

"shut up and eat your food" she grumbled

"so mean Namie! I was being friendly!"

She snorts.

As he was about leave, Namie asked "where are you going? We have a lot of work to do!"

"oh, you can go home Namie, with pay of course. I just need to take care of some private things."

"Izaya, is this about Shi—"

"no. now go home. Now". His smile fell and his tone was harsh. Even for Namie, she hardly saw him so grim.

"fine…but don't do anything stupid"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." His tone went back to normal, joyful and enthusiastic

_Why is he like this? Is he bipolar or something?_

"Bye Izaya". She left first, and he followed her. They went separate directions.

He walked into Ikebukuro, the city of danger, but also, beautiful humans. He loved watching them, their reactions, and watching couples was his favourite. _Aw, those two look so cute together._ He was practically skipping; he looked so happy you could almost see unicorns, glitter and rainbows radiating above his head.

The informant was humming a song to himself.

_Pon pon wei wei wei pon pon pon pon pon wei wei wei, this song is so catchy!_

He stopped humming when he saw Mikado, Kida and their erotic looking friend, Anri. Wait why Anri and the blue-eyed boy holding hands…and were they sharing that ice-cream?

"Hello, guys! Good morning! Mikado-kun, I never knew you were dating Anri-chan!"

"cut the crap, Izaya, what did he do this time?" Kida asked fiercely. _Dammit I hate Shizuo, why was he hurting my future husband? I can't marry Izaya with scars and bruises all over his face…_

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Mikado took his hand out of Anri's and pointed a finger at Izaya. "Why are you lying to us? We care about you. W-we can't see you get hurt by such a m-monster."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Mikado." Izaya said firmly, still smiling. As if on cue, the wind swept Izaya's bangs out of his face, revealing a dark bruise above his eye.

They all gasped in unison, and stared at Izaya pityingly.

Kida stepped closer and gently put his fingers on Izaya's face. "You don't have to stay with Shizuo if he's hurting you" _besides, he's a damn cockblock._

Izaya swatted Kida's fingers away "don't worry about me, Kida-kun. You know what; you guys should come over to my place. We could just talk about this over dinner or something. Namie's cooking."

Anri finally spoke up. "your place? And where would that be, an asylum_?" Damn, I hate this guy. Is he going to murder us three with that knife he walks around with?_

Oh, Anri, you're getting feisty aren't we? Mikado, so lucky you have a girlfriend to protect you from bullies and such. Anyways, tonight at 8." He turned to look at Kida and said "don't worry, no Shizu-chan."

**Kida's POV**

"don't worry, no Shizu-chan." He remembered the encounter that morning with Izaya. He was so beautiful, so graceful and so…good looking. When Izaya looked at him, he felt like his heart would jump out of his rib-cage.

_If my plan goes exactly perfect, I can seduce Izaya. _He already tried to seduce Mikado when he had a crush on him a few months ago, which didn't work.

**-Flashback-**

It was the end of gym class, and Kida and Mikado were the only two people left in the change room. Mikado looked like he was having trouble with his zipper, and Kida was already done. This is the perfect opportunity to make Mikado my girlfriend—I mean—boyfriend. He went over to Mikado and asked "hey, you need help Mi~ka~do~?"

"No thanks Kida, I got this" He was still fiddling when Kida came in close proximity to his face and whispered "It looks like you're having trouble". He proceeded to rub Mikado's member.

"M-Masaomi what are you nnngh doingngg"

"Shhhh" Kida mashed his lips to Mikado's lips. The blue-eyed boy dodged Kida's tongue and pulled away quickly. He tried to zip his pants once again but his growing erection was stopping him.

"Oh my god, what the hell Kida? Why did you do t-that? I'm not g-gay. I like Sonohara_." Holy shit what is wrong with Kida?_

"But Mikado, I've liked you for a long time…" He continued to rub Mikado.

"s-s-stop that, I never knew you were gay" He finally got his zipper up and tried to leave

"Where are you going?" Kida said pathetically. He felt a lump grow in his throat

"To Anri. I love her." He bowed at Kida and ran off, trying to forget that experience.

**-Flashback end-**

_I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen again. I can't see Izaya hurt like this. I really liked Mikado, but I love Izaya. Even though he's 23….He's not that old. Tonight after Mikado and Anri leave, Izaya will forget all about Shizuo._

A/N: How was that guys? It took me 2 days, idek why. I've been really busy on le tumblr

Tsumichi tumblr com (add le periods)

Remember, the more reviews, the longer the story shall last ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry to leave you hanging. ^^ This was scheduled for the 30th haha. Anri is really OOC, so sassy... I love her like this. I think that Shizuo, Kida and Mikado are IC, but Izaya and Anri…are way out. Dot worry, there will be a lot of Shizuo in chapters 4 and 5. I mean ALOT. Hehehe…

Reviews, comments, questions and suggestions are encouraged^^

BEGIN!

The trio walked up to Izaya's doorstep. Mikado and Anri were dressed in their normal outfits. A green and white sweatshirt on Mikado, and a pastel pink sweater on Anri. Kida, however, was dressed really nice. He wore a fitted gray t-shirt and jeans. He changed the silver ring in his ear to a black stud. His hair and body smelled like strawberries. He even brought a small plate of fatty tuna for Izaya_. Why am I so nervous? I've done this plenty of times before. I think it's because I actually care about Izaya. I hope Shizuo doesn't show up._

Anri was becoming impatient. For some reason besides disliking Izaya, she was kind of afraid of him. She softly rapped at the door. Izaya answered, wearing his regular black clothes. They bowed, and Izaya clapped his hands.

"Gonna be so fun!" Izaya squealed

"Pedophile…" Anri muttered

**Shizuo's POV**

Kill, kill, kill.

Annoyed, annoyed, annoyed.

It's raining heavily, and his cigarette went out mid-smoke. He snapped it in half. Annoyed, annoyed, annoyed. He just finished with a bunch of…customers. He had just dealt with was a woman who offered sex as a method of payment for her debt. Shizuo tried hard to control his anger. _Damn whore, you think you can just wrap me around your finger like that?_ He declined and told her to pay up immediately, and about 10 minutes of her trying to seduce him and him arguing with her, he slammed her against a wall and yelled,

"If you don't pay up NOW, I WILL KILL YOU". She nodded in fear and paid the amount. He let go of her and muttered "slut" before he left. She remained on the floor shaking and crying.

Tom emerged from behind the building and exclaimed "Shizuo what's wrong with you? She's just a girl! She's fucking 20 years old and needed to pay medical bills why would you do that?" How long can these businesses last before Shizuo kills someone? Tom sighed.

"Sorry, I lost my temper" he grumbled. _Like I always do. Always._

"Okay, whatever. But seriously…try to be gentler with the females. Anyways, you want to go to Russian Sushi? I'm a bit hungry."

"Nah, but thanks Tom. I need to go home, er, Izaya's place."

"Oh come on now, just dinner. It's going to get filled up pretty fast" Tom insisted. I don't want him walking around hungry and angry. _Worst combination ever._

"Alright, let's go before it rains harder then" Shizuo said.

The duo entered Russian sushi and were greeted by Simon. They sat down and picked some food and got some sake to drink. Tom then asked casually, "So, are you going to Izaya's later?"

"What's it to you?" the blonde grumbled.

"Nothing…nothing…" Tom muttered. I just hope that Izaya doesn't get killed.

When the bill came, Shizuo paid his half and said, "Bye, Tom"

No particular POV

"Namie~ dinner was great! Thanks! Now, will you wash the dishes?"

"Ha. You're really funny, aren't you Izaya? It's almost 10. Goodnight." Namie gathered all her stuff and left the door, slamming it shut.

Mikado yawned. "aah. It's getting late; I and Anri are going home. Thanks Izaya-san. They interlaced their fingers and also left. Now Kida was alone with him. _Everything's running smoothly._

"I brought you some Ootoro, Izaya." The blond gave the informant a plate filled with fatty tuna.

Izaya chuckled. "You should've given me this earlier. I'm full. You know what? I'll have this for breakfast tomorrow! Thanks Kida-kun." _Ah, my butt, it hurts, it hurts!_

"Izaya….why're you walking like that?" Kida was confused_. It must be something Shizuo did._

"What? I always walk like this." He smirked and went closer to Kida. "Worried, Kida-kun?"

"yes. I am. You have wounds everywhere, half your face is blue, and you can't even walk properly. I know that Shizuo is hurting you, and I think I can help."

"How so?" the informant was actually curious_. What can a 16 year old kid do for me?_

"Maybe…I could make you forget?" He whispered into Izaya's neck and bit his ear. It was really hard to stay balanced considering the fact that he was on his TIP TOES. He was rudely awakened by a sharp hiss.

"Kida, you must be joking right? How old are you? 16? What do you possibly know about me?" Izaya had a cold smirk on his face. He sat on the couch, wincing at the pain in his shoulder.

"I know that you cry yourself to sleep every night, wishing that Shizuo would stop hitting you. I know that you always ask yourself what you did wrong to deserve this. I know you're in pain. I know that you're suffering. I know-" _I couldn't take this anymore, he knows me way too well._

"Enough. Go home." Izaya threw Kida's bag and signalled at the door. _This kid was impressive_. He was able to crack the great Orihara Izaya open.

"Izaya…just stop and hear me out." Kida sat on the couch next to him and leaned in. He was now on Izaya's lap, trying to get Izaya to look at him in the eyes. He brushed Izaya's hair out of his face once again seeing the bruise that threatened to stay for at least a week. _Wait, did I hears omeone knock the door? Whatever._

"Just…" Izaya was interrupted with soft pink lips on his own. For a kid he's pretty good. Wow. He didn't kiss him back, however he let Kida have his fun. He let Kida open his mouth and explore his mouth.

The shorter blond brought Izaya's face to his and kept two fingers on Izaya's chin_. Is this really happening right now? _Izaya's hands were limp by his sides, and didn't kiss back. All he felt was Kida's tongue swish around in his mouth, and it felt surprisingly good. _Shizuo never kissed me like this…Who is knocking on the goddamn door?_

"Mmm, Kida" _did I just moan? _

Kida took the whimper as a go ahead sign and started to trail his fingers downwards, before he was stopped.

The informant pulled his lips away and pried Kida's fingers off of him.

He told him with a pitiful smirk. "I'm dating someone. Even if I wasn't, you're too young. Well, not that I care, but I'd say that…well you're not my type.". Kida's heart fell to his stomach. _No, no, no. I'm not giving up._

"I see. Your type is the kind that beats the living crap out of you, am I right? One of these days Shizuo will kill you, and All I could say is 'It was nice knowing you.'" The words that he was yelling at him didn't quite match the intimate position of Kida straddled on top of Izaya, with Izaya's arms around his waist. _The only reason my hands were around his waist was to get him off of me_.

Just then, the door burst open. It was Shizuo. _Oh shit._

A/N: What happens next? Alert, favourite and review to find out…muhaha-.

Thanks for reading.

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Tsumichi tumblr com ^^^^^^


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Chapter 4 is finally out! Tell me what the story's like so far! ^^. BY THE WAY, CHAPTER 1 IS MORE LIKE A PREQUEL. Obviously, you cant tell, but I'm taking the story slow, and this information you see in the first 1-6 chapters is mainly shizaya plus cockblock!Kida. I'm actually prewriting all of this and updating every 4 days. Especially on a day where I feel like writing, I write about 3-4 chapters and space them out evenly. (Well excluding proofreading and editing.) Also, longer chapters shall be out too! I think 2,000+ word chapters are appropriate because 900-1000 words is way too short ;A; any ways, VIOLA^^ -I DON'T HAVE A KIDA BIAS. I DON'T LIKE KIDA MORE THAN IZAYA, ITS JUST HOW THE STORY FLOWS.

**Shizuo's POV**

Shizuo was walking, relived that the rain stopped. He can finally have his long-awaited nicotine fix. He wanted to visit Izaya to apologize, and even got him some sushi from RS. He'll forgive me, no _prob_.

Finally I'm here. He knocked on the door quietly, not wanting to break it, but nobody answered. The blond tried again, but again, nobody answered. He went around looking through the kitchen window and there was enough dirty plates to think that there were people here with him tonight. _Did he have guests? _There was no Namie, so he assumed that she left. _I hate that bitch._ He went around again and went to the living room window. He saw Izaya and some short blond…WHAT THE FUCK_? He was kissing some kid! The kid was like what? 15? Is Izaya a pedo or something? But wait he wasn't kissing back…what..what…NOW HIS ARMS WERE AROUND HIS WAIST? I'm going to murder both of them with my bare hands. But then I heard something. Something that the kid said._

"I see. Your type is the kind that beats the living crap out of you, am I right? One of these days Shizuo will kill you, and All I could say is 'It was nice knowing you.'_" Knowing? KNOWING? WHAT? HE WAS WITH THIS KID EVERYTIME I LEFT?_

_That's it. I'm going in_. Shizuo burst open the door with the palm of my hand. There was anger cursing through his veins, every inch of the bartender's body was consumed in incurable rage. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

Izaya's mouth closed and opened and said "Shizuo..it's not what you think…we were just talking…"

"talking? TALKING? ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT PEOPLE NORMALLY MAKE OUT ON A COUCH WITH A KID TO TALK? WHAAT?" Shizuo grabbed Kida and punched him across the face and was knocked out. He picked up the coffee table with Kida's bag on it.

"Shizuo why are you doing this? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" Izaya panicked_. I'm used to this by now. Just brace for the worst…brace for the worst._

"JUST SHUT UP! YOU…YOU…WHORE!" He threw the coffee table at Izaya. Normally he would've just narrowly dodged it, but he was caught off guard. The table broke on his shoulder making a horrible crunching sound. Izaya fell to the ground was knocked out also. Shizuo looked around the room. Door: broken. Window: cracked. Table: dismembered_. Look what I've done. Again._ He checked Kida`s pulse. He was alive, just passed out. There was blood dribbling down from his nose and a bruise starting to color. He`ll be fine…but he deserved it. No one dares to touch my Izaya. He then walked over to the informant. His pulse was normal too, but he probably was broken on his entire right side. He scooped Izaya up and put him on the couch. He then took out his cell phone to call the second most familiar phone number. Shinra's.

"Hello, Shizuo! Why're you calling so late?" Shinra was obviously sleeping; his voice was very thick and lazy.

"Uhm…I have a slight problem." Shizuo tried to put what he did into the least menacing and violent way possible. He told Shinra what he saw and what he did. Shinra gasped a little bit here and there, but listened intently.

"Why would you do that? I know you have anger issues, but that's much for even you, Shizuo."

"Oi! Is that really fair to say Shinra? I saw my…my…boyfriend making out with some kid on the couch! I have every reason to be angry!" Shizuo can feel his temple throbbing again.

"Okay, okay. Celty and I will be there in 10 minutes…help yourself to some milk or something. We'll be there."

Shizuo paced around the living room for what felt like eternity.

Shizuo stepped over Kida's body and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge only to find no milk. At all. _What kind person doesn't have fucking milk in their fridge?_ He, once again, was angered, and ripped the handle off the fridge and threw it out the already cracked window.

He waited a few more minutes, and heard a faint noise come from outside. It was a slight buzzing sound, which he automatically recognized as Celty's motor—ahem—horse.

Shinra's POV

Shinra came into the house with his kit. He stepped over the broken shards of wood and glass. _Whoa, Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo._ He turned his head from Shizuo's pacing and saw Kida on his side bleeding from his nose, and there were a few sparkly shards of glass in his hair_. Shame, I'm afraid I'll have to cut that short. _He then proceeded to the living room where Izaya was passed out on the couch. He quickly examined the outside of Izaya's body and saw…bones sticking out where they shouldn't. He silently scolded Izaya for not taking in enough calcium. _Half of these injuries can be prevented if he just took calcium supplements or milk…_ Shinra snapped out of his mind-lecture and continued. _Alright so we have a shattered collar bone, dislocated shoulder and torn ligaments…We will need some surgery done! Thank god! Business has been really slow lately, because Shizuo was taking most of his anger out on Izaya and his home… Time to tell Shizuo…_

"Shizuo! Come hereeee!" Shinra yelled unnecessarily loud. Shizuo came in, and took off his sunglasses. Everything was surreal to him.

"What?" Shizuo said sickly, he felt dizzy

"Okay, so Izaya is going to need 2 surgeries, one to reconstruct his collarbone, and one for his torn ligament. He also had a dislocated shoulder, but don't worry, I put it back in place, and it'll heal in no time." Shinra said cheerfully_. I love putting people back together._

"I-I…I did this to him?" The blond still had no way to wrap this around his mind_. How…_

"Yes. And for little Masaomi over there, he'll just need a few stitches, and to cut his hair short for the shard of glass to come out. Lucky kid, no?"

" So…how much is this going to c-cost_?" I'm no rich man._

"We'll talk about the cost later, you just have to take care of Izaya while he's healing."

"o-of course." Shizuo felt really nauseous, and sat down next to Izaya's lifeless body.

"I'll call Togusa to bring a van" Shinra opened his cell and left the room.

Shizuo's POV

Why…why….why…

Why did I do this? That moment when Izaya said "don't do this", I didn't want to. It was just an example of my body acting before my mind does.

Shizuo sat with Izaya, awaiting the van. Celty was here, wiping the blood off of Kida and picking shards of glass out of Kida's hair. She took a pair of scissors from the drawer and cut about 2 inches of hair from Kida. She threw the hair in the garbage and checked once more for glass still stuck. Wow, why can't I be like that? Why can't I be caring…careful and gentle with people? Kida was right. Maybe Izaya might die in my hands one of these days… It's just a matter of when.

A/N: SO sorry for the late update on such a suspenseful chapter ;A; don't be mad! D:


	5. Chapter 5

Im very sorry for not updating the story. Ive lost all inspiration after a certain event in my life took place. Im pretty sure that Im over it now, so Im back on the story for my readers. I was going through a really tough time the past month, and have recovered to a point where im almost the same. Really sorry for the inconvenience, next chapter will be up soon. Thank you for bearing with the hiatus.

For some people. Letting go is a very painful process that makes them tired. It aches them to let go and become exhausted from the force exerted on trying. On the other hand, some people let go too easily—they never have a long lasting relationship of any kind—romantic or not—and are very distant around the people with them. They hardly open up or tell you what's on their mind. They don't believe in the prospect of confiding in someone they trust because trust is a foreign word. They haven't been able to show trust because of a certain event that took place in the course of their life.

Thanks again,

-tsumichi


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow. Its been over a month since I last updated. I left so suddenly without a warning. I've been having personal problems, which completely made me lose insight and motivation, which resulted in the worst, most devastating writer's block in the world. But hey. I'm back.**

Kida's POV

Argh…What am I doing in Celty's house?...Kida ran his hands through unfamiliar hair.

"M-m-m-m-my hair…WHERE IS MY HAIR?" He got up (bad idea) and started scavenging for any place that had a reflective surface_. My motherfucking hair that I have worked on so closely for 10 months has gone to fucking waste…. This is…this is…RIDICULOUS!_ He finally caught eye of the bathroom and stormed in. He wiped away the water fog on the mirror and blankly stared at the honey-eyed teenager before him. Ew, I have the same hair as Mikado…except its blonde. Oh god I look so gross, there's dried blood on my face. Much to his surprise, he felt a warm stream of tears fall slowly from his left eye. He had a lump in his throat the size of a golf ball. He knew he needed to cry. I haven't cried in almost 3 years, why should I now? He wiped away his tears now mixed with blood, and swallowed his lump_. I need to be more of a man. That's what Izaya likes right? A strong man that could easily take down threats, protect his lover and buy his lover beautiful things. I can't see my lov-Izaya go through this pain. I need to win him. I have to._ Celty walked into the bathroom behind Kida and typed on her slim black PDA

Are you ok?

Kida nodded.

I'm sorry I cut your hair. I know you took great pride in it but there were shards of glass in your hair so I had no choice. Do you forgive me?

"Celty! Of course I forgive you! You're such a caring person, I wish I could be more like you!" He gave her a hug and started to yell into her shoulder. _Don't cry, don't cry…_

She gently pried his arms loose and wrote

Haha, Im glad you think so highly of me. Do you remember what happened?

"HA!" he scoffed. "you mean the part about Izaya getting a shitload of broken bones because that dumb brute can't control a single limb on his body?" yes, I heard on the way to your place. I wasn't fully unconscious okay?" _Oh my god, why are people under the impression that closed eyes are equal to being knocked out?_

I see. Do you want to get some rest?

"Here? Naw, I think I should go home. Maybe wash the blood off my face." He turned on the tap and sprayed his face with cold water, feeling good against his bloody, oily face. He finally got all the blood out and rinced his face one final time. He left the bathroom, flicking off the light.

He gathered his bag and his clothes and headed out of the apartment. As he opened the door, he almost slammed his head into Shinra's glasses.

"Kida! Good to see you alive and well! Aha!" Shinra was surprised that Kida already managed to wake up and recover that fast.

"Hi Shinra, I was just heading home…I'm ok I guess" _Except my heart._

"Well do you need a ride? I could ask Celty!"

"haha, no no, I'm fine. I want to take a walk amyways, you know? Think about things. Well, see you later Shinra."

"Bye, Masaomi" Shinra turned and walked toward the room Izaya was trying to recover in.

"Ummm…wait Shinra!" Kida called after Shinra.

"What Kida…?"

"H-how…how is Izaya doing?"

"A lot worse than you are, kid!" Shinra spun on his heel and walked towards the room Izaya was in. Kida sighed and left the apartment, closing the door with a slight click.

Walking around Ikebukuro seems safer since Shizuo isn't around_. I wonder where he is? Ha, probably trying to apologize for the millionth time. You can't always just apologize for everything. The damage is done. _He saw a bakery down the street and it still had a 'open' sign on it. He went in, and to his surprise, he saw a lot of people from school.

"oh my god his hair"

"why did he cut it?"

"you think he got into a fight?"

Kida swallowed and kept his head up high. He ignored all the comments about his bruised face and short hair.

After about 15 minutes or so standing in a long line, he finally got to the front.

"Hi, can I please have a small strawberry shortcake piece?"

"which one would you like, Sir?" The woman asked. She seemed very tired and cranky.

"Ummm…that one!" Kida pointed to the small piece but had a lot of icing. She took the piece and boxed it for him.

"for a girlfriend?" she smiled gently as she collected the money.

"Um, haha, you could say that." He received his change and left the bakery in a hurry.

As he opened the box, he realized. Shit! I have a history test tomorrow..crap I didn't study.

He picked up his pace and ended up running full speed with a disposable fork clenched between his teeth. His breathing became ragged and forced, and he had to stop running to gain back his breath.

Damn, I am so unfit. He continued to walk holding his now aching side. He looked up and saw the head of his building. Hah, so close but so far.

After about 3 more minutes, he arrived at the front of his building, sweaty and exhausted. He trudged up the stairs and arrived at the front door. He shaked around his bag for keys than opened the door. He turned on the light, and gasped. There was a large but lean man sitting on his couch.

It was Shizuo.

**A/N Whoops sorry for the suspense :)**


End file.
